New car in the block

It was just a mere thought last December 2011...

The thought of replacing this Yaris 2008 model to a new one...

And I claimed this mere thought, and presto, am getting a brand new car, this time its not Yaris, but...

a Toyota Corolla 2012.

I could feel right now a smoother ride.

I've been away

Sorry rustic blog of mine...my last post dated back Sept. 6, 2011.

But I do believe that once a blogger, you'd always be one, so here I am again, promising for the nth times to post nonsensical things, once again har har har...

In the meantime, let me first eat this plate of reversed California maki.

In memoriam

It happened August 10, 1997. And it took me that long to have the nerve to write this memoriam, maybe with the thought that the scars had been finally healed.

Not that I would like to recall the past, but the vivid details of how the event unfolded was like a shadow kept coming back.

Untimely, tragic and hurtful were few words that best describe my feeling when you left.

I wish I could hold the time, but just like everyone else, my existence depends at the mercy of time. When circumstance strikes, we tend to realize our being slaves of fate; we are helpless, weak and vulnerable.

I was there throughout, we shared almost everything, we had silly moments, we fought, we cried, and we laughed.

I was so blessed growing-up with you; you respect me in a way I did not deserve. In one of our fights, instead of harming me what you did punch instead the dining table so strong your right fist bled. You knew  I got nosy at times because I cared a lot; you were too way sleepyhead, no plans at all, only to realize your being laid-back after your untimely demise.

You were known to be very private, a man of few words. You spoke your mind often times, your moves were unpredictable that’s why it came a surprise when you finally settled down at a young age. We were all in awed it wasn’t though a shock because you were blessed of strong personality and handsome. We knew you were not ready by that time, your defense was you were drank the night it happened, but your gentle manner surfaced and married her. We were sad thinking that you would be having a life contrary to the easy-happy-go-lucky life we both shared, but we salute you for being man enough to stand firm amidst great responsibilities.

We then found separate worlds…you settled in the place where I called the urban jungle with your newfound family, and I began traversing the corporate world.

After barely six months of not seeing you, we met again. I noticed your eerie countenance totally different to the one I used before. I stared at you and mentally debating whether what I saw was poker face or still the same handsome face only then prematurely aged. I consoled myself not to worry as my remorse was unfounded, your manly gestures were still very much intact but it was then evident the hard life of a man who married at a young age. I knew it was not an easy life for you. When you gazed at me blankly, I noticed that your bright eyes turned pale, your fair complexion turned dark—you wore cheap clothing and jeans. It pained me to see the bitterness in your smiles, and laughs became a priced commodity. There were coldness and apathy during that meeting. You arranged it to ask me to be one of the godfathers of your eldest born, Monica. I nod and we reconnected once more.

I learned from our folks your being very proud of me. Without me knowing you tend to idolize me. When I regularized in my job as a Management Trainee at the Motorola Philippines you treated your friends to booze overnight and bragged that I held office at the tallest building in the country’s business center. You asked me at one point not to focus solely in my job and mind my love life and underscored of having you as my best man. Only then, it was never realized.

The sluggish flow of my corporate career made me decided to leave the country when an opportunity to work abroad knocked. A day before my departure you were there, you traveled half-day just to bid me goodbye, and without any hint turned out to be our last meeting. You were so sad then, and couldn’t say a word. You even didn’t want to see my face, you avoided my stares. When I asked you of what should I bring on my return, you uttered instead “ingat lang lagi at magdasal lagi.” My heart was melted then, and to date every time I have the recollection of our last meeting I always end-up teary eyed.

While working abroad you sent me letters, narrating the beauties and challenges of fatherhood, and that Monica would soon have a sibling. Pauline came, another daughter, the last child you fathered.

After a few months working abroad, while having siesta in one afternoon, I had a peculiar vision, “I saw Mum wailing in front of a white coffin.” It was a bad dream, an afternoon nightmare I must say. I woke-up with goose bumps and felt a sudden gust of wind enveloped me wholly and my heart raced frantically.

The following day, around 9:00 a.m., I got an overseas call from Manoy Ben, our brother-in-law. Telling me at first to relax and not to get shocked of what he would say. Then he broke the news, and upon hearing it, I was speechless and too weak, I almost fainted and grasping for breaths totally oblivious of my existence. The news is like a bomb; it hit my senses and shattered my soul. My vision became real. Mhe, my younger brother, even at the last moment had always his own unique way of doing things; he visited me through the vision while on doze.

Ramil “Mhe-mhe” as we fondly call in the family, passed-away due to nightmare, at age 23. He was the youngest and the last that came in the family, the irony he was the first one who bid us goodbye to the point of no return.

At first there were denials and pains of his’ untimely death, but our faith dictates that we are all bound to die one day. Oddly though, death is always associated of unexplained loss and grief. Only then the things that would make us going, are the ones left behind and among them, memories to cherish. And that Mhe would always live in our hearts.

You will always be my little brother, my best friend and your keeper. How I wish someday on my last few breaths you are there and Mum to meet me half-way towards the place where we the livings aim to reach.

Be at peace my beloved little bro. I love you and I always will.

One sided love affair

Take me out from the journey of unreasonable passion.

I've never been so obsessed on something, yet lately I have this feeling of being possesed by an outside force, the urge is too hard to resist by mere glimpse of you.

What's in you..?

My fingers tremble when I get held of you, and when you're in my lips, once the sparked get into the tip of your lean body, I get aroused and shivered, you never failed to stimulate my senses. When stress stikes, you're valued than prozac as things tend to get brighter and lighter.

You are easily consumed, no foreplay needed, all it takes a spark, your petite body fired in microseconds and we both reach the arousal level easily, it's so fast, and left me crave for more, and more, and more. You defy logic, you disregard what is just and good. You're weak in flesh, vulnerable, genorous yet so selfish.

You came into different colors, sizes and flavors and that makes you very alluring. Your charm can easily fool anyone, regardless of sexes and ages. Once you got into the nerve, there's no way for you to stop wrecking havoc, you comfortably demolishing the fragile organs of my body, you are worst than anesthetic. Skinning you off is a sweet torture and I always end up the loser.

You doped a lot, and even outwit the savviest minds, and you never stopped, even lured many to addiction and death.

Many have tried to curb the urge of you. Some succeeds, some fails. You are stubborn and provocative, withdrawing from you would never be as easy as trowing off your butt anywhere. You're a curse, but loved by so many.

Ahhh...cigarette, this love affair is one sided...you made me fell in love. You gave me your skin and yet you got my flesh in return.

And the worst thing you're boldly doing is that you smoke many souls to obscurity.

The role we play

I slouch once again in the pitiable couch lying a meter from the tv set.

The couch which is covered in maroon fabric, robust and uncomplaining, provides comfort to asses after asses sat on it. Its charm is too hard to resist that I let sit on it a little while, and oftentimes extend for hours.

What if there is no tv set near the couch? Is it still alluring or enjoyable to sit on it? Or, it would just another mere object that lurks in a narrow corner of the house’s living area?

It makes me ponder then, are the roles we play at times tend to be like the couch or the tv set?

We know that both the couch and tv set give comfort or relief. In what situation then we become the couch or the tv set?

Drawing comparison as to who or which one has the greater or less roles to play is a lousy analogy.  All is inter-connected; one can’t simply function without the support of others. Whatever you advocacy is, be responsible enough on your actions, as according to Newton’s 3^rd Law, “for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.”  

Isn’t it awesome to think the ubiquity of every living or non-living thing in this world? Their purpose of existence…

Are all things then created equal..?

Science says NO!

In GOD’s eyes, YES!

Camel's farm visit

Finally visited a not so "big" camel's farm 60 miles south east from Riyadh city center, a few weeks back. The experience is awesome, only then the drawback is the fresh camel's milk. Thanks to our host, the officemate of Pabs (a good friend, the one in the red shirt).

The most notable experience was the bowl of fresh camel's milk I drank. At first I was hesitant to drink as I have lactose intolerance. However,  knowing that camel milk is high in protein and considering as well that camel milk has a lot of health benefits click here as explained in Wikipedia, and plus--I don't want to offend the host by refusing the offer--so I dared drinking it. The result after an hour--my stomach began to groan uncontrollably, good I was already home by that time, and till early afternoon the next day I had stomach upset.  

Here are some pictures during the said visit to camel's farm.

at the barn with friends--in black shirt Mccoy, in red shirt Pabs & Aries, peace bro :P

I bet you can't swallow mother camel

another photo at the farm's yard

with camels background

the best part--bowls of fresh camel milk...

yala, more brother--you need nine additional stacks...

a vintage GMC truck

the seat of the vintage GMC truck

this is it...Camel Farm!

don't be afraid bros...the camel just want to sniff both of you

resting beside the farm care taker's shanty

Our hosts...thanks Habibi...

yeah, Wanted for trespassing the Camel's Farm hah hah hah...

rustic sunset at the Camels' Farm.

My life in hindsight

I was trying to see life poetically, rather than theatrically.

Lately, I came to realize that my not so pleasant side turning into meaningful existence. I supposed it has something to do with my emotional maturity. Things that are used to please me got boring, and my outlook becoming broader and logical.

My worries that used to get into my nerve are now mere passing delight on a given day. What we can get anyway from worrying?  It negates the spontaneity of thoughts. It fuels pain, adds boredom, and kills sound judgment.

I cried at times not because of bitterness, but for being blessed of sound mind to think soundly amidst trials…my tears purge any obscurities, or doubts to live a fuller life even in misery. My existence is more than enough to thank for…my wife, my son, my job.

The gifts of unwavering FAITH make me fairly understand not to question whatever tribulations that come my way, it’s just a matter of having a mindset that things happened for a reason, and to become stronger whenever a problem strikes. It’s not easy at times but quitters never win.

Someday this life will be taken away, we will be judged not because we accomplished much or little—but through our deeds.