Finding My Way Back

Life is indeed a journey.

I've been a way for sometime.

The months I was on a hiatus I traveled a lot; the Philippines, Hongkong, Singapore, Japan, India, the United Kingdom, the United States, Qatar, the United Arab Emirates, Bahrain, and counting.

I aged fast as days flown swiftly. I have now countless strand of gray hairs, my strong body getting weaker, I am in my midlife, I supposed. My two sons are fast growing-up, and my lovely wife, though adding age as well but alas, getting lovelier each day!

I am doing good with my jobs, two of them, the on in Food Industry is a challenging one, it's okay though a good learning experience in the process. I need to keep both of these jobs due to high demand on financial sustenance, especially amortizations to settle every end of the month (too many of them to name).

As of late, I can't help myself thinking of the endless possibility of making it BIG somewhere out there...I hope to wake up one day more daring and bold for me to face the challenge of putting my own business.

But wait, shouldn't I be thankful, to find my way back of blogging again?

Happy Easter

Happy Easter and God bless every one...

In memoriam

It happened August 10, 1997. And it took me that long to have the nerve to write this memoriam, maybe the wounds were finally healed of losing someone you dearly loved. But the scar will linger throughout.

Not that I would like to recall the past, but the vivid details of how the events unfolded were memories hard to deal. 

Untimely, tragic and grief and great loss were few words that best describe my feeling when you left.

I wish I could hold the time, but just like everyone else, my existence depends at the mercy of time. When circumstance strikes, we tend to realize our being slaves of fate; we are helpless, weak and vulnerable.

I was there throughout, we shared almost everything, we had silly moments, we fought, we cried, and we laughed.

I was so blessed growing-up with you; you respect me in a way I did not deserve. In one of our petty fights, instead of harming me what you did instead is to punch the dining table so strong your right fist bled. You knew I got nosy at times because I cared a lot; you were too way sleepyhead, no plans at all, only to realize the reason of your being laid-back after your untimely demise.

In our family among the siblings you were a man of few words. You spoke your mind often times, but precise on thoughts, your moves were unpredictable that’s why it came a surprise when you finally settled down at a young age. We were all in awed it wasn’t though a shock because you were blessed of strong personality and handsome, and these make the girls trail behind your back. We knew you were not ready by that time, your defense was you were drank the night it happened, but your gentle manner surfaced and married her. We were sad thinking that you would be having a life contrary to the easy-happy-go-lucky life we both shared, but we salute you for being man enough to stand firm amidst great responsibilities.

We then found separate worlds…you settled in the place where I called the urban jungle with your newfound family, and I began traversing the corporate world.

After barely six months of not seeing you, we met again. I noticed your eerie countenance totally different to the one I used before. I stared at you and I noticed the loneliness in your face, I tried waiting for your timid smiles, your simple gesture whenever we see each other, you look haggard, but still the same handsome face only prematurely aged. I consoled myself not to worry as my remorse maybe unfounded, your manly gestures were still very much intact but it was then evident the hard life of a man who married at a young age. I knew it was not an easy life for you. When you gazed at me blankly, I noticed that your bright eyes turned melancholic, your fair complexion turned dark—you wore cheap clothing and jeans. The you did not fail me, you smiled at me but it pained me to see the bitterness, and laughs became a rarity. There were coldness and apathy during that meeting. You arranged it to ask me to be one of the godfathers of your eldest born, Monica. I nod and we reconnected once more.

I learned from our folks your being very proud of me. Without me knowing you were idolizing me. When I regularized in my job as a Management Trainee at Motorola Philippines you treated your friends to booze overnight and bragged that I held office at the tallest building in the country’s business center. You asked me at one point not to focus solely in my job and mind my lovelife and reminded me of having you as my best man. Only then, it was never realized.

The sluggish flow of my corporate career made me decide to leave the country when an opportunity to work abroad knocked. A day before my departure you were there, you traveled half-day just to bid me goodbye, and without any hint turned out to be our last meeting. You were so sad then, and couldn’t say a word. You even didn’t want to see my face, you avoided my stares. When I asked you of what present should I bring on my return, you uttered instead “ingat lang lagi at magdasal lagi.” My heart melts then, and to date every time I have the recollection of our last meeting I always end-up teary eyed.

While working abroad you sent me letters, narrating the beauties and challenges of fatherhood, and that Monica would soon have a sibling. Pauline came, another daughter, the last child you fathered.

After a few months working abroad, one afternoon while having a siesta, I had a peculiar dream, “I saw Mum wailing in front of a white coffin.” It was a bad dream, an afternoon nightmare I must say. I woke-up with goosebumps and felt a sudden gust of wind that made me shivered frantically.

The following day, around 9:00 a.m., I got an overseas call from Manoy Ben, our brother-in-law. Telling me at first to relax and not to get shocked of what he would say. Then he broke the lethargic news, and upon hearing it, I could not utter a word and too weak to move, I almost fainted and grasping for breaths totally oblivious of my existence. The news was like a bomb; it hit my senses and shattered my soul. My vision became real. Mhe, my younger brother, even at the last moment had always his own unique way of doing things; he visited me through the vision while on doze.

Ramil “Mhe-mhe” as we fondly call in the family passed-away due to nightmare, at age 23. He was the youngest and the last that came in the family but the irony he was the first one who bid us goodbye to the point of no return.

At first there were denials and pains of his’ untimely death, but our faith dictates that we were all bound to die one day. Oddly though, death is always associated of unexplained loss and grief. Only then the things that would make us going, are the ones left behind and among them, memories to cherish. And that, Mhe would always live in our hearts.

You will always be my little brother, my best friend and your keeper. How I wish someday in my last few remaining breaths you are there and Mum to meet me half-way towards the place where we the livings aim to reach.

Be at peace my beloved little bro. I love you and I always will.

One sided love affair

Take me out from the journey of unreasonable passion.

I've never been so obsessed on something, yet lately I have this feeling of being possesed by an outside force, the urge is too hard to resist by mere glimpse of you.

What's in you..?

My fingers tremble when I get held of you, and when you're in my lips, once the sparked get into the tip of your lean body, I get aroused and shivered, you never failed to stimulate my senses. When stress stikes, you're valued than prozac as things tend to get brighter and lighter.

You are easily consumed, no foreplay needed, all it takes a spark, your petite body fired in microseconds and we both reach the arousal level easily, it's so fast, and left me crave for more, and more, and more. You defy logic, you disregard what is just and good. You're weak in flesh, vulnerable, genorous yet so selfish.

You came into different colors, sizes and flavors and that makes you very alluring. Your charm can easily fool anyone, regardless of sexes and ages. Once you got into the nerve, there's no way for you to stop wrecking havoc, you comfortably demolishing the fragile organs of my body, you are worst than anesthetic. Skinning you off is a sweet torture and I always end up the loser.

You doped a lot, and even outwit the savviest minds, and you never stopped, even lured many to addiction and death.

Many have tried to curb the urge of you. Some succeeds, some fails. You are stubborn and provocative, withdrawing from you would never be as easy as trowing off your butt anywhere. You're a curse, but loved by so many.

Ahhh...cigarette, this love affair is one sided...you made me fell in love. You gave me your skin and yet you got my flesh in return.

And the worst thing you're boldly doing is that you smoke many souls to obscurity.

Interrupted sleep

My deep sleep interrupted at 3:05 a.m., I was breathless and almost choked to death…not because of a bad dream where someone tries to strangle me, or the stale saliva stuffed in my mouth, or sleep apnea.  There are times I wake up in the middle of the night so helpless and disoriented, maybe it's a sign of premature aging as I used to sleep deeply and soundly, and totally oblivious of my existence.

The deafening sound of a/c unit in my room numbed me as fear creeps in my senses recalling that night of August 10, 1997, my beloved brother died of nightmare at the age of 21…an idyllic life cut short.

Ahhh…when a part of us separated, we would never be the same again.

We try to move on…

But our smiles can’t hide the pains from our hearts?

And if memories can treat longings and pains, then there’s no way for our mind to free from bondage of losing someone.

Just a thought though…

Let there be genuine love

How I wish the human inhabitants in the world we live in have the genuine display of affection, like the one below. Ironically, our pets are the ones teaching us unconditional love, care and loyalty.

English 101

English is not my first language—but I began studying it since I was five, as a part of school curriculum. I am proud of being a good user of one of the Universal Languages, and until this time, I never stopped learning the intricacies of this mighty Language.

A friend forwarded to my email this morning the stuff below, and I must say I give good credit to whoever is created this “humorous tool” for learners of the English language.

It is worth reading, have time of digesting how certain nouns really have confusing plural forms, har har har!

*ONLY THE ENGLISH COULD HAVE INVENTED THIS LANGUAGE**

We'll begin with a box, and the plural is boxes,
But the plural of ox becomes oxen, not oxes.
One fowl is a goose, but two are called geese,
Yet the plural of moose should never be meese.
You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice,
Yet the plural of house is houses, not hice.
If the plural of man is always called men,
Then shouldn't the plural of pan be called pen?
If I speak of my foot and show you my feet,
And I give you a boot, would a pair be called beet?
If one is a tooth and a whole set are teeth,
Why shouldn't the plural of booth be called beeth?
Then one may be that, and three would be those,
Yet hat in the plural would never be hose,
And the plural of cat is cats, not cose.
We speak of a brother and also of brethren,
But though we say mother, we never say methren.
Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him,
But imagine the feminine: she, shis and shim!
Let's face it - English is a crazy language.
There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger;
neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
English muffins weren't invented in England.
We take English for granted, but if we explore its paradoxes,
we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square,
and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing,
grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?
Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend.
If you have a bunch of odds and ends
and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
Sometimes I think all the folks who grew up speaking English
should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.
In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?
We ship by truck but send cargo by ship.
We have noses that run and feet that smell.
We park in a driveway and drive in a parkway.
And how can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same,
while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language
in which your house can burn up as it burns down, *
*in which you fill in a form by filling it out, and in which an alarm goes
off by going on.

And, in closing, if Father is Pop, how come Mother's not Mop?

AND IF PEOPLE FROM POLAND ARE CALLED POLES THEN PEOPLE FROM HOLLAND SHOULD BE HOLES AND THE GERMANS, GERMS*

Immaturity

The news smashed my face this morning, like a rustic dagger.

How could pride and prejudice are so damaging?

Mostly of marital problems are caused of miscommunications or misunderstandings. Why I discounted, infidelity? For me it’s very political in nature. It defies human logic.

More often than not, the marital problems if not patched-up at the earliest often led to emotional and psychological tortures, then separation. The worst of its kind, the casualties are children that do not deserve the misery of a broken family.

Well, I am a married guy—and am not at all naïve when it comes on marital infidelities.  Marriage collapses, yes, but one can’t just simplify the reasons why it happens. Even love and trust are not assurance in the survival of marriage.  I believe pressures melt trust and love (and what I mean of pressures—they are jealousies, temptations, misunderstandings, finances, etc). And when both partners have inappropriate egos, pressures are extremely hard to straighten-up. It is the pride that makes marital problems worsen as there is no one to give way, to accept faults, and usually ends up on blaming games. When harmony lacks in marriage—there is no unity, how can you keep the marriage then? 

Obviously there are unresolved marriage issues that are supposed to polish out, but if partners are not willing to settle the issues, who would help them to settle the indifferences? It’s end game.

Why we are so idealistic? Isn’t it hard to understand that nothing works out if we are fault finders, just like in marriage, you can never attain perfection, only how to make your marriage life better.

Too tough

One of the bizarre rulings that a judge given (the following article is taken from The New York Times)

4-Year-Old Can Be Sued, Judge Rules in Bike Case

By ALAN FEUER Published: October 28, 2010 "THE NEW YORK TIMES"

Citing cases dating back as far as 1928, a judge has ruled that a young girl accused of running down an elderly woman while racing a bicycle with training wheels on a Manhattan sidewalk two years ago can be sued for negligence. 

The ruling by the judge, Justice Paul Wooten of State Supreme Court in Manhattan, did not find that the girl was liable, but merely permitted a lawsuit brought against her, another boy and their parents to move forward. 

 

The suit that Justice Wooten allowed to proceed claims that in April 2009, Juliet Breitman and Jacob Kohn, who were both 4, were racing their bicycles, under the supervision of their mothers, Dana Breitman and Rachel Kohn, on the sidewalk of a building on East 52nd Street. At some point in the race, they struck an 87-year-old woman named Claire Menagh, who was walking in front of the building and, according to the complaint, was “seriously and severely injured,” suffering a hip fracture that required surgery. She died three months later. 

Her estate sued the children and their mothers, claiming they had acted negligently during the accident. In a response, Juliet’s lawyer, James P. Tyrie, argued that the girl was not “engaged in an adult activity” at the time of the accident — “She was riding her bicycle with training wheels under the supervision of her mother” — and was too young to be held liable for negligence. 

In legal papers, Mr. Tyrie added, “Courts have held that an infant under the age of 4 is conclusively presumed to be incapable of negligence.” (Rachel and Jacob Kohn did not seek to dismiss the case against them.) 

But Justice Wooten declined to stretch that rule to children over 4. On Oct. 1, he rejected a motion to dismiss the case because of Juliet’s age, noting that she was three months shy of turning 5 when Ms. Menagh was struck, and thus old enough to be sued. 

Mr. Tyrie “correctly notes that infants under the age of 4 are conclusively presumed incapable of negligence,” Justice Wooten wrote in his decision, referring to the 1928 case. “Juliet Breitman, however, was over the age of 4 at the time of the subject incident. For infants above the age of 4, there is no bright-line rule.”

The New York Law Journal reported the decision on Thursday. 

Mr. Tyrie had also argued that Juliet should not be held liable because her mother was present; Justice Wooten disagreed. 

“A parent’s presence alone does not give a reasonable child carte blanche to engage in risky behavior such as running across a street,” the judge wrote. He added that any “reasonably prudent child,” who presumably has been told to look both ways before crossing a street, should know that dashing out without looking is dangerous, with or without a parent there. The crucial factor is whether the parent encourages the risky behavior; if so, the child should not be held accountable. 

In Ms. Menagh’s case, however, there was nothing to indicate that Juliet’s mother “had any active role in the alleged incident, only that the mother was ‘supervising,’ a term that is too vague to hold meaning here,” he wrote. He concluded that there was no evidence of Juliet’s “lack of intelligence or maturity” or anything to “indicate that another child of similar age and capacity under the circumstances could not have reasonably appreciated the danger of riding a bicycle into an elderly woman.” 

Mr. Tyrie, Dana Breitman and Rachel Kohn did not respond to messages seeking comment.

Office cartoons

We tend to curse our work place especially at times we are beating deadlines. It is normal so no need to worry. Suffocations, tortures, professional jealousies etc., are norms in our work place.

Okay, take time to relax and maybe you can relate with the office cartoons below:

Grounded civilization

The world is grounded, but no one is electrocuted.

Technology bridges the gap of almost everything in the world today. Reading this blog alone proves how a blogger in a certain area is capable of being noticed and read from different parts of the world.

Well, I presumed that technology paves way to have our civilization on its higher level. The following maybe a non-sense observation:

1. Application of Nanotechnology to almost every product (from food to child/adult’s diaper)
2. Sex change (sanity and madness)
3. Union Marriages (what is happening to the civilized world?)
4. Test tube babies and freezing of sperm cells from highly potential donors (male with blue eyes and athletic, according to one particular firtility clinic, the Finnish, Dutch, and Swedish males are the most in demand sperm donors)
5. Unstoppable rising of fuel prices in every corner of the world (while in Saudi Arabia its 0.15 U.S.cents per liter)
6. The rising inflations especially in Asia and the Middle East (keep instead a euro, than a dollar in your pocket)
7. USA finally adopts one of the real bases of democracy by having an African-American president, setting aside racism for a while.
8. World wide web (www) invades our privacies, homes, works, and controls or directs our lives (isn’t it online banking easier than queuing in the bank?). If before your favorite past time is reading books, now you're addicted to Facebook.
9. The wisest or dumbest inhabitants can become millionaire or billionaire by the click of the mouse through online gambling/casinos; and dog(s) becoming super rich in today’s era of hypocrisy and vanity.
10. And don’t be surprised if one day you have “10” look alike; you are simply CLONED!

A lot more…dare to add to the list…

The thing is if we are going to define simply the word civilization, it is liberation from what is primitive.

Okay, does it imply fine breeding, civility, or simply being cultured? Is ignorance in a civilized world a crime?

Well if you are a keen observer—you know what is the answer?

Maybe I am out of my mind if I’d rather be in the place where way of life is simple and laid back. I am in a world where everything seems in order, but people tend to race against time. Hypocrites abound and tired souls helplessly roam around.

Will somebody show me the entry point to real world?

Pop's Day

It's Father's day tomorrow, and as a father myself...need I say someone should pamper me on this occasion?

To all the pops in the whole wild world...rejoice, celebrate, we really deserve a break, aren't we..?

Pa, you know how much I love you, and I always will...without you I'm nothing in this world..!

Knowledge power

Knowledge/skill + Experience + Common sense are things mattered in accomplishing whatever tasks commissioned to us.

A boss who relies on you has the mind set that you are competent enough to deliver results. We may perceive it as abuse of authority, but the thing is; if your boss does not trust you nor cannot count on you; you will not be in your job, right?

This morning an officemate forwarded the article below and it made me think that no one really has the monopoly of knowledge. I am not saying that we should be the “old man” in the story—but “let’s always give the best shot in every endeavor that we get into.”

THE GIANT SHIP

Ever hear the story of the giant ship engine that failed?

The ship's owners tried one expert after another, but none of them could figure out how to fix the engine. Then they brought in an old man who had been fixing ships since he was a youngster. He carried a large bag of tools with him, and when he arrived, he immediately went to work.

He inspected the engine very carefully, top to bottom. Two of the ship's owners were there, watching this man, hoping he would know what to do.  After looking things over, the old man reached into his bag and pulled out a small hammer. He gently tapped something. Instantly, the engine lurched into life. He carefully put his hammer away. The engine was fixed!

A week later, the owners received a bill from the old man for ten thousand dollars. "What?" the owners exclaimed. "He hardly did anything!" So they wrote the old man a note saying, "Please send us an itemized bill."

The man sent a bill that read:

Tapping with a hammer $2.00

Knowing where to tap $9998.00

“Effort is important, but knowing where to make an effort in your life makes all the difference.”

How do we evolve?

Evolution defines as "the gradual process in which something changes into a different and usually more complex or better form.

How do you evolve at this stage of your life?

May it be your personality, career, interests, etc.

Each of us has always the itch to do something like selfless quests or selfish pursuits to fame. Evolution per se has something to do with a cliche belief that in this world., there is no such thing as permanent, except changes.

Are we really doomed to constant changes, or is it simply a question of being not contented of what we have.

Let's say for example the career that you want, or the kind of job you are having. Are you satisfied and feel happy at the end of the day on what you are doing?

An average person changes career three times, according to the U.S. Dept. of Labor. What is then the deciding factor(s) that a person changes his/her job or career?

Will it be pure cravings of a financially rewarding job? Or is it the working environment making you feel like a programmed robot, bossy bosses,  or upper-lipped colleagues?

I salute highly successful people who left their jobs for humanistic causes, like bankers who became priests, missionaries, pastors, business tycoons who are philanthropists, and the rest who have the noble goals of serving or giving back selflessly to the needy what they have.

It's not all about monies...yes I believe so.

You can fake the smiles in your lips, but your eyes can't conceal whatever discontent in your heart for hey are the windows of your soul.

Talking to oneself

(photo credit: www.zazzle.co.uk)

When was the last time you talked to yourself?

It is called soliloquy (talking to oneself), an effective tool for actors to master their lines on certain acts or for speakers to rehearse their speeches.

At times, we engage in soliloquy, without knowing that what you’re doing is perfectly normal, a technique that directly or indirectly improves our personalities.

I was in college when I first encountered the term in one of my literature subjects. From then on, I used the technique when rehearsing a presentation, speeches, or scheduled interviews. Believe me, it indeed works and usually boosts confidence. Soliloquy is best practice in front of the mirror.

Speaking of mirror…

Yesterday while dusting off my life size mirror in the room, I noticed that my then “cute” countenance (as friends called me during my younger years har har har), already turned into a face of a man who is on his mid-thirties, and that an aura of adulthood is undeniably evident.

I have aged indeed I told myself…

When I was in my teens, what I wished was to grow-up faster and do things that adults were doing, like partying, drinking and smoking, etc. Then I got employed, and realized smoking and drinking would just a waste of hard earned monies. I still drink, only occasionally, or some calls it social drinking.

Now in my 30’s, I fancy the years to unfold slowly.  I wish that I am still in my 10’s or in my 20’s. A psychologist friend told me, it is but normal for persons who are in their later 20’s or 30’s, even 40’s to engage sometimes on cheeky things that they are used with. She cited that if young ones are vain, how much more the adults who may have the means to proper grooming?  And what about those in their 50’s, 60’s...? “Well, they are on the quest of the fountain of youth,” she quipped. In short, being vain, as long as it is not overtly excessive is healthy.  No wonder beauty/grooming industries worldwide generate billions in sales revenue annually.

We might age at a snail’s pace, yes. But, we can’t totally alter the natural flow of aging, nor forever hold our being young, gorgeous and strong.  However, moderation (to anything) is one of the keys to long life.

Worrying develops unwanted wrinkles and too much stress will shorten your life.

One day, the inevitable will come, and I told myself.., “It is worth leaving if life is productively spent.”

Desperate Husband

Just to what extent, or shall I say expense, does a couple will go to have a child..?

This morning I got an email from a friend, and would like to share it with you (details down below).

It is evidently bizarre if taken the context literally. However it depicted an implied lesson to lovers, married or unmarried for whatever reasons opt to intentional abortion when they don’t want yet to raise a child, as compared to the couple in the news.

The news (publicized in Germany on April 1, 2009), sparked a debate on morality among the locals on the desperate move of the husband of having a child by paying his neighbor to impregnate his wife, and on the process the neighbor who is being paid to father a child discovered his own wife dose of marital indiscretion.

Be the judge…