My life in hindsight

I was trying to see life poetically, rather than theatrically.

Lately, I came to realize that my not so pleasant side turning into meaningful existence. I supposed it has something to do with my emotional maturity. Things that are used to please me got boring, and my outlook becoming broader and logical.

My worries that used to get into my nerve are now mere passing delight on a given day. What we can get anyway from worrying?  It negates the spontaneity of thoughts. It fuels pain, adds boredom, and kills sound judgment.

I cried at times not because of bitterness, but for being blessed of sound mind to think soundly amidst trials…my tears purge any obscurities, or doubts to live a fuller life even in misery. My existence is more than enough to thank for…my wife, my son, my job.

The gifts of unwavering FAITH make me fairly understand not to question whatever tribulations that come my way, it’s just a matter of having a mindset that things happened for a reason, and to become stronger whenever a problem strikes. It’s not easy at times but quitters never win.

Someday this life will be taken away, we will be judged not because we accomplished much or little—but through our deeds.

Too good to be true

I supposed to see with my naked eyes, but my heart sees things I could not define. The vision is surreal, if it is a phantom of delight I want to seize the moment.

Let me float, or fly—but how could I sans wings? Shall I walk..? My knees are too weak to travel a distance, not because they are crippled but my whole being can’t carry the weight of uncertainties. Such is the reality. You weave plans, and your greatest dilemma is fate. The pathways to succeed are too stiff at times. The future can suck ones sanity wholly, you tend to strive and in spite of working hard—what’s left in the pocket is just enough to make ends meet. You get disgusted and lie low…you procrastinate and maybe giving-up is the easiest way to escape..?

When would I become a firm fighter..? Am I ready to win or to be unnerved? Nay, if I solely own tomorrow, I should have fought the game of chance long time back.  

They say, if you would not try you would never know the outcome. Damn it, for the sake of my love ones I dare not complicate things. When it comes to their welfare, I am sensitive and too way generous. Gambling the given decent way of life they have would be a callous step uncalled for. Should I not mind anymore the wealth that this world can offer, I supposed to be thankful to what I currently have. But the thing is--I crave for more!

Ahhh…too complicated…

Thanks for this life somehow as it is too good to be true that I’m now on my 30’s, I will be forever grateful to my Creator till my last breath.

Of friendship

For a friend, who never ceased believing that kindness begets kindness.

Friends come and go, but we tend to keep a few of them.

The ones who stick become good buddies and the ones who detached from us for reasons of job, family, etc., in the course of years, become mere acquaintances.

Friends directly or indirectly mold our personalities, our aspirations, and even our beliefs. These are the friends who influence us of what we become, whether in good or bad ways.

There are times, our good friends blundered because of lapses of judgment, and does it mean that kindness to a friend become outlandish? How about being just and fair to the one afflicted? Yes, by standard of morality it is disputable. However, by standard of being a good friend; it’s business as usual.

Although in retrospect we are sometimes the reason why friendship gets bland.

Why..?

We usually get hurt when a dear at heart left handed us. We tend to backbite, at worst curse. Human as we are, when our pride wounded the resort is to engage on character assassination. Pride usually overwhelms power; it blocks our mind to think logically. We are pinned of being bitter that often led to hatred and scorns.

Good friends are elusive at times. Even if you show too much kindness, betrayal always happen in different proportions. We feel screwed, but life is all about forgiving and moving on.

Cause and effect are guaranteed in every action that we do. Risk can be predicted so in the midst of confusions, don’t be fooled of what is real from lies. Doing favors for our friends is exhausting at times. Just don’t expect for any return on a given favor to avoid being disappointed, what matters is that you helped and somehow felt happy.

Bear in mind, our friends are God-given companions in the course of our lives, and in the definition of who we are, aside from our loved ones; our achievements; our friends equate the totality of our persona.

Which do you prefer?

Nice one...

It makes sense, specially in a corporate setting.

However, both have advantage depending upon the call of situation.

Both are prone for abuse. The crocs execuse no one, regardless if you're smart or dumb.

So never let others screw you, stop messing around. If you can't resist the urge to fool around, mind to cover your behind.

Your brain is supposed to be in your head, and not in the recess of your a*s!

Interrupted sleep

My deep sleep interrupted at 3:05 a.m., I was breathless and almost choked to death…not because of a bad dream where someone tries to strangle me, or the stale saliva stuffed in my mouth, or sleep apnea.  There are times I wake up in the middle of the night so helpless and disoriented, maybe it's a sign of premature aging as I used to sleep deeply and soundly, and totally oblivious of my existence.

The deafening sound of a/c unit in my room numbed me as fear creeps in my senses recalling that night of August 10, 1997, my beloved brother died of nightmare at the age of 21…an idyllic life cut short.

Ahhh…when a part of us separated, we would never be the same again.

We try to move on…

But our smiles can’t hide the pains from our hearts?

And if memories can treat longings and pains, then there’s no way for our mind to free from bondage of losing someone.

Just a thought though…

Let there be genuine love

How I wish the human inhabitants in the world we live in have the genuine display of affection, like the one below. Ironically, our pets are the ones teaching us unconditional love, care and loyalty.

Thy will be done

"God, please grant me the serenity to accept things that I can't change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."